she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Randomize
