here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
