i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
then he tried to convert me to islam
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
