So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
