I'm lost and stupid without you.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
