so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
