I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
