R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
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Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
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His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
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