community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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