1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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