You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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