Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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