And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Randomize
