No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
