everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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