I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
