were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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