Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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