there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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