On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
