He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I told you penises don't tan
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.