Betty ford says i'm here all night
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.