my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
