If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize