I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
