ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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