That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
