When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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