i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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