maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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