my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
