Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
