I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
