I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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