bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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