I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize