Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Intervention is following me on twitter.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes