Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
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So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
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Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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