I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
