i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
