i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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