all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
