Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
