I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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