Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
