im holly from the hills drunk
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
