Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
