Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
