You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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