do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
