where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
