Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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