HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
