Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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