dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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