dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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