And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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