mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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