your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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