i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
