i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
