What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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